Your Best Yes: Keeping Christmas Enjoyable, Discernment

Advent begins today. Many people don't really care much, because for them, Christmas started the day after Halloween. At least, that's when the Starbucks Christmas cups appeared. Christmas is here, there is no denying it. This month will probably be the busiest time of the year.

We are all in the same boat with limited time and resources to face everything that's coming our way this month even though it’s mostly all good stuff. I mean the dinners, and dances, parties, Christmas concerts, pageants, plays, gift buying, gift-wrapping, gift exchanging, and gift returning. It's all good.

The challenge is the rest of our life proceeds as usual. We've still got jobs, or classes, or both. You've got to clean your house, do your normal shopping, deal with the children and aging parents, and all the other issues that you're currently handling that don't go away just because the holidays are here. That's part of it.

The other part of the challenge is that it can be difficult to know what to do, when to do it, or what not to do. All this good stuff can start feeling like pressure. It can become overwhelming.
If you think about it, the holiday season is this intense little experience of what is actually going on, day in and day out, through the whole of our lives. That is, life is an ever-changing menu of options that just keep coming our way. What we do with these options determines the quality of our life.

Whether we're thinking about it or not, what we're doing with all of those options is determining the quality of our lives. so we need a strategy. We need a plan for the holidays for sure. Then, moving forward into the New Year, we need a strategy that we can use to attain a more consistent, sustainable, successful life in 2019.

St. Ignatius can help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola is great Saint who lived in the fifteen hundreds. He had a strategy for exactly what we're talking about it. Ignatius called this process discernment. Discernment is about judgment, but not just decision-making. It's more about sensitivity, even shrewdness when it comes to decision-making, discerning not just the good from the bad, but the good from the greater good, and the greater good from the greatest good.

When life presents more than one good option, discernment is about reflecting on the best one, the one that represents the best use of our time and resources. The one that has the greatest impact to do the most good. Ignatius goes even further, saying we should consider which options is the greatest good in the eyes of God?

So. . . Saint Ignatius has three three basic discernment principles that we're going to emphasize throughout the course of this homily series.

The first principle of discernment is: We need to discern what God is asking of us. God actually wants to get involved and really help you out when it comes to making great decisions in your life. He wants you to make positive, healthy, life-giving choices.

He wants to lead you down the path of an abundant life. He wants you to see every day of your life as his gift to you. Not just something to be gotten through, but a gift that he has given you.

Many people approach life, not to mention Christmas, as something simply to be gotten through. But that's not how God wants us to live. We'll find our best yes when we invite God into the decision-making process. We make good decisions by laying our options before God and pausing to hear what God has to say.

The second principle of discernment is this. We need to discern who God wants us to be with our gifts and talents. Discernment is asking God what we should do based upon who he made us to be. I'll say that again. Discernment is asking God what we should do based upon who he made us to be. And no matter who God made you to be, here's one truth I know to be true about you. God has made you free to make decisions.

He's made you capable of discernment. He's given you a capacity to choose. So often we act like we don't have any choice, especially at Christmas. But when we act like we don't have any choice, when we act only out of obligation or a sense of duty, there's every chance that we're working against who God made us to be, which is self-defeating.

You're free to say, "No" to overcoming and over-scheduling yourself and your family this year.

The best, "Yes," is often preceded by a firm, "No." It's hard. And it's harder this time of year than any other time of year because you want to please everyone. It's not wrong to want to please everyone. It's just impossible. I say that again. It's not wrong to want to please everyone. It is impossible.

We have the freedom to say, "No," and the people in our lives need to accept that. Mature, emotionally healthy people, will accept your no. And immature people need to grow up, and you're helping them practice maturing when you say, "No."

Saint Ignatius teaches a third principle for discernment which is: we need to discern from the perspective of love. He got that from the bible. And it's perfectly stated in today's second reading from St. Paul's letter to the Thessalonians. Paul writes to the Thessalonians and to us, "May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another, and for all, just as we have for you.”

Paul prays for his friends, and all of us, that we'll increase and abound in love. Our best yes, our greatest good will ultimately come from love and the desire to love. Spiritual discernment is based on love.

You might be wondering how can saying "No" be a reflection of love, but all of you parents out there know that well. Often the most loving answer, the most generous answer is "No." Besides, it doesn't matter what we do this holiday if we're not growing in love, accepting every invitation, attending every party, seeing every relative, finding every gift, getting the cutest possible picture of our kids for the cutest possible Christmas card ever, is ultimately of no value without love.

So, over the next few weeks, we're going to be looking at how we can grow to love God, to love others, and be inspired by love, to make disciples through spiritual discipleship.

Next week, we're going to begin by talking about growing in love toward God. In two weeks, we are going to look at loving others. We always want to grow in love toward people around us.

Finally, in three weeks, we'll look at how we can reach out to our un-churched friends and family by inviting them to Christmas. The gospel passage today from Luke refers to Nations in disarray, people in distress. Fearful things for sure. What should we do? What's his counsel and advice to us? It is pretty simple, he says, "Beware of the anxieties of daily life." That could be a guiding verse for us in this whole holiday season. Beware of the anxieties of daily life.

This Christmas is probably going to be busy for sure, but it can be busy without fear, anxiety, regret, anger. Invite God into your busyness. Choose to give him, and yourself, the Christmas gift of your very best yes.

Listen to this homily here:

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